yes bro, its not that eq is so harsh etc... i LOVE eq and love it on a second cycle... its one of favorites, partially because it has lower side effects but its needs a MINIMUM of 16 weeks to even be effective and thats just too long on a first cycle, on top of the fact you should not run multiple anabolics on a first cycle... you can run a few sarms in there that give eq like results and that is completely fine but you need to save eq for your second cycle... this is a marathon, not a sprint and if you treat it like that and respect it, you are going to be able to do this long term my friend... if not, you will have a very short run at this and a lifelong lesson to be learned... its really ultimately up to you on what you decide but you sound like you are going to make the right decison