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99 problems and a bitch is one (advice and opinions are welcomed)

mate you need to drop her, you do not just stay with someone for the kids sake
that just doesn't work, I have been there bro

He was most likely the whole reason she went up there, maybe been taking through facebook or emailing
the whole thing sounds very suspect

prob not what you want to hear...sorry

regards Terry
 
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RickRock you are right, my father once told me "a woman is the most deceitful animal in the jungle" and he never lied! They will put on a role and play you and wont even break character

King James Bible:
It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.
... Nuff said!!!
 
Don't have to suck her dick but kids are innocent and they deserve the best home he can provide for them


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They deserve the best mother they can have as well, maybe she needs to rethink her responsibilities as a mother and wife??????? Exactly.
 
They deserve the best mother they can have as well, maybe she needs to rethink her responsibilities as a mother and wife??????? Exactly.

Totally agree with u!!! There is no question about it !!! But if they don't trust each other there is no love left at least pretend for the kids until they 18 and out of the house. And if he/she has to get laid go to the hotel and do it but keep the home front intact. Since they decided to have kids it's not about them anymore. The whole thing sucks ass but we need to put our selfish needs as much as they are important to us aside and think about the life we created. The best option would be therapy and see if there is anything they could salvage there


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Totally agree with u!!! There is no question about it !!! But if they don't trust each other there is no love left at least pretend for the kids until they 18 and out of the house. And if he/she has to get laid go to the hotel and do it but keep the home front intact. Since they decided to have kids it's not about them anymore. The whole thing sucks ass but we need to put our selfish needs as much as they are important to us aside and think about the life we created. The best option would be therapy and see if there is anything they could salvage there


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ahh No i wont make it til the kids are 18, i have about about 8 more yrs til my kids can legally state who they would like to reside with...wish me luck
 
well if the marriage is dysfunctional either way the kids will pick up on it, I left mine and had split custody and it has been the best thing, if you are fighting or not loving in the home they will think that is normal and then their relationships will be dysfunctional later in life cuz that's what they saw as normal. I was 100% better father without my ex in my life
 
She's cheating. Sorry to be so blunt, but it's true. Everything you've said indicates a lying cheater.

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And the Italian in me says to leave and expose her cheating ass to the world so everyone knows she's a cheater, and also, car bomb the homie.

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Bottom line she's outta line. We will on occasion run across people we've slept with in the past, shit happens, but how we handle it determines the outcome.
1. When you called whatever they were chatting about should've stopped and you should've been priority #1. 'Excuse me, MY HUSBAND is calling me' is a no brainer.
2. Him playing with your kids is a tad overboard.
3. You pushed and egged her on so when she said his sex was better... had it coming bro. Still very disrespectful.
6. She should have immediately let you know when she was on the phone with you that he was there and that there was an issue in the past, but said there is no concern about anything now. This would've clarified to both you and his attentive ears that you are the HUSBAND and that he is just a dude she used to know and nothing more.

Your wife is either naive and young, reminiscing over when they were together, or just plain stupid (no offense bro). I'm 45, my wife is 47, but I've always established a clear and definitive line in our relationship and dealings with people and ourselves. I'm not perfect and have slipped up from time to time, but my wife knows the boundaries of what I consider disrespectful. I don't blame the guy, the woman is always accountable in matters such as these because they have the power to shut down advances if any happened and define the boundaries. Her immediately passing the kids the phone without talking to you sent a clear message: you weren't the most important thing happening at the time. You might have a good woman, you might've pushed her into his bed again by blowing up, I don't know and lets just pray she values your marriage, you and what you've built together. Here are the options:
1. Calm down, forgive but don't forget, then observe her actions and most importantly her phone.
2. Explain calmly how she played your ass by passing the phone and see what she says. If she defends her actions... you're not her priority and you deserve better.
3. Hire an attorney secretly, claim she abandoned you and the kids. They'll run an add in some unimportant paper nobody reads and 30 days and roughly $2k later you're divorced and have custody.
4. Fly up there and calmly let her know in front of her mother that you'd like to meet this guy she had a day in the park with. I'm sure the look on her mothers face and the following mother/daughter conversation will embarrass her ass, but she will be mad AF at you.
5. Drop the bitch. The only permanent women in our lives are our mothers if they are worth a shit and our daughters.

Life is too short to be miserable and as men we can't let situations, or women dictate our lives. Use your head, go to the bank and get your money and safe deposit box that shit. The check is good for a year so if it's a sizeable amount the bank doesn't spaz out about large sum withdraws and you avoid the multiple $10k notifications to the government that make you look suspicious. Your wife behaved very disrespectfully, Mrs. 44 would never do some shit like that bro. She knows I'm not to be fucked with, but again I wuldn't have blown up like you did. Sometimes a smile is deadlier than it seems. Best of luck and no disrespect intended bro.
Very well said...

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I bet if she was honest with you in the beginning the situation probably would have been the same. She was probably trying to save you both from the shitty conversation that you guys ended up having any way.
Trust and respect. It will never work without it. Idk your guys whole story, but if she's been faithful and loves you chances are she wasn't doing wrong, but went about it the wrong way. And we women like to be smartasses after you explode and don't stop so that was probably the reason for her responses lol
 
She lied about him being there, said your children were also liars after letting him play with them, said the sex was better with him, said she could be herself with him even while admitting he just views her as a piece of ass, and won't tell you who he is?

Just wanted to make sure I had this ridiculous shit down before I ask this: what the fuck are you doing still talking about this? Give that bitch 24 hours to be standing in front of you with this dude's name and her passwords to every form of communication she has, and if she views you as a priority and gives a single fucking ounce about staying together, she'll make it happen. Phone records, Facebook, all of it. You can delete messages, not your favorites, so you can see if they've been talking recently on Facebook. Email is a little trickier but possible.

If she doesn't give you every bit of information you want, without question, walk. She should be smart enough to see why it looks so fucked from your perspective, and want to do everything she can to prove otherwise if there really isn't anything fishy going on. If she doesn't value your trust and care enough about you to put your mind at ease, she's either full of shit, or not worth being with in the first place.

Sticking it out for the kids is helping nobody but her. She gets to be taken care of and have the security of a family and home to go home to while still doing whatever she wants. The kids will pick up on unhappiness and it won't do well for their development, so sometimes it's waaaay better for them to have their parents separate. Happy, but separate.

Together doesn't mean happy, and happy doesn't mean together....


Or do like I would, and just say fuck feelings. No use for them. Pin tren and TNE and stomp that dudes ass. Then go home and tell her she has to give up the booty for some rough anal if she wants you to stay, and then beat that shit all apart before you pack your stuff and leave anyways.
 
It's difficult to advise you w/o knowing the two of you or how your relationship functions. Not everyone's relationship is similar, or even close, and that's not necessarily bad, we're just different. At first read it definitely gets you heated. I tend to agree with what MissBizz said, but again I don't know you guys. I would definitely want a face to face discussion with her, hopefully in a productive manner, of course voices and emotions will escalate just try to keep it productive.
 
I bet if she was honest with you in the beginning the situation probably would have been the same. She was probably trying to save you both from the shitty conversation that you guys ended up having any way.
Trust and respect. It will never work without it. Idk your guys whole story, but if she's been faithful and loves you chances are she wasn't doing wrong, but went about it the wrong way. And we women like to be smartasses after you explode and don't stop so that was probably the reason for her responses lol

You maybe right, I don't think she's a cheater but she is a liar. I've decided to back off, just bothers me the guy lives right up the street more than anything plus she is straight refusing to tell me who he is
 
Yo checking in at the end of the day. Lots of speculation in the thread - look fuck all the speculation bro disconnect from the bullshit. Let the kids call you, tell her you don't want to talk now - focus on you. Do that and you put yourself in a better position to choose what you would like to do. This is opposite of doing what you think other people think you should do. Ya feel me here? Be the leader and disconnect - once you do many will follow and those who don't - well then you know.


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***Update***

I called her phone last night because she wasnt responding to texts and ill be damned the fucking guy answered the phone. I asked him man to man have you slept with my wife since she has been married and he said yes and from the way it seemed it was not recently but another time she had went up there last year. I cant believe she cheated on me and came back like it was all good...wow.. That was all i needed to know, filing for divorce today and moving on with my life. I know this thread might have made me sound like a pussy for being so open about my relationship but i needed to vent to complete strangers and get unbias opinions. I appreciate all the moral support and advice guys, forever my brothers!
 
***Update***

I called her phone last night because she wasnt responding to texts and ill be damned the fucking guy answered the phone. I asked him man to man have you slept with my wife since she has been married and he said yes and from the way it seemed it was not recently but another time she had went up there last year. I cant believe she cheated on me and came back like it was all good...wow.. That was all i needed to know, filing for divorce today and moving on with my life. I know this thread might have made me sound like a pussy for being so open about my relationship but i needed to vent to complete strangers and get unbias opinions. I appreciate all the moral support and advice guys, forever my brothers!
Well I guess I was off. So sorry to hear this! I wish you well! Hang in there!
 
***Update***

I called her phone last night because she wasnt responding to texts and ill be damned the fucking guy answered the phone. I asked him man to man have you slept with my wife since she has been married and he said yes and from the way it seemed it was not recently but another time she had went up there last year. I cant believe she cheated on me and came back like it was all good...wow.. That was all i needed to know, filing for divorce today and moving on with my life. I know this thread might have made me sound like a pussy for being so open about my relationship but i needed to vent to complete strangers and get unbias opinions. I appreciate all the moral support and advice guys, forever my brothers!

Hey bro, true strength is displayed by doing what needs to be done at the appropriate time and you are responding very well. There's no being a pussy about opening up bro. You asked for unbiased opinions and got several. Consider yourself fortunate to be ending this rather than living a lifetime with someone who doesn't place you, your marriage and children first. Everything happens for a reason. My barber just went thru this exact situation and he's now enjoying a better life. Remember divorce can get ugly, but nothing is uglier than laying next to a liar and cheater who smiles in your face and then fucks someone behind your back. A real woman would've just told you 'This isn't working' rather than use you to maintain a lifestyle and fuck you over. If she fucked one, count on 2-3 more skeletons in the closet bro. Be strong. Be firm and remember the type of snake you're dealing with cuz she will act like she wants to get back together at some point in time.
 
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