A unique sadness

[44YOGearHead]

Bottom line I feel somewhat betrayed. My son's gf called me yesterday saying she wanted to transfer colleges next year for sake of joining a sorority of all things. See my son is an athlete and she was accepted into the school basically because they wanted my son. Yes I pulled some strings using my sons ability to help keep them together as they wished. My son could've gone to one of 4 colleges and played football, but she wanted to be close to home so he chose where they're at. Now she wants to transfer because she wants to have the college experience?? Wow... she doesn't know it but she just fell off with me. I told her being together requires sacrifice on someones, or both persons part... but you decide the route you wanna take. Just know that distance is a strange beast and shit happens. If being together is a priority make it that, if not roll the dice.
I spoke to my son and he says it is what it is... they'll make it work. Congrats on the youthful optimism... it like so many other attempts at this will be doomed to fail and I'm gonna have to get used to a new face in my son's life eventually. After this semester my money will not be paying for her college if they aren't at the same school, I refuse to invest in someone that will eventually let my kid down. This IMO is let down number one waiting to happen. Funny how people fail to see the treasures and opportunities in front of their faces. Oh well... not my kid. I still feel like years from now one of them will look back after a few shit relationships and say 'I fucked up'... bumps and bruises shape the tomorrow versions of ourselves.

 

[cmb5017]

Dumb chick....free college and a bf or drunk sorority hoe..smh ..honestly it's the best decision for him cause if she ain't got better sense that that she wouldn't stick around much longer no way..blessings in disguise

 

[renglez]

The audacity, smh. I hate to sound like my parents but -She does not know how good she has it. Or had, in this case. Like cmb5017 said, blessing in disguise.

 

[DT117]

Man if those are her priorities and choices she makes i wouldn't want my boy to be around her

 

[DylanGemelli]

ive been through all of that, through rush etc.... and i LOVED it but you know what, i actually left that particular university which was a very large big ten school, just so i could be CLOSER to my then girlfriend.. not try to get away and i was a fucking partier in a major way but STILL chose the opposite... brother, she is going to be so regretful and then its too late because your son will have found that he actually did not want to be with her that much in the first place and move forward to a far better situation... so let her go make mistakes... he DOES NOT want to be with that type of girl, that is partying etc.. you know that bro... so let her go and then when its too late, she will realize the mistakes she made...

 

[44YOGearHead]

I agree with all of you guys, what I don't want is her realizing she eff'd up and then tugging on my sons heart strings to come save her. I can't stand shit like that bro's. She's been tripping me out with getting tatts and shit, she's a beautiful young and naive young moron... I told her. "What you have is unique. Lots of ppl aren't able to grow up together, date thru high school and go to college together, but your priorities are what they are and they don't affect me. You're gonna have to live with them in the end. Just know things can change and when they do you can't always go back to how it was. Sometimes ppl remember you had it good and chose to leave on your own and that's all that matters to them". I know she's confused and my son is thinking to himself if she fucks up she's gone. He knows as a man you have to do what's best for you in order to be the father/husband you're gonna be one day.

 

[FIT4FAITH]

Sad that she wants to "live it up". I can sum it up in one word "SELFISH".

So she'll want to party and have experiences as a party girl. She'll branch swing to various guys, then when she reaches a certain point in her post college years (some call it "hitting the Wall"). She'll find some nice guy provider to raise her babies. Most likely she try to come crawling back to your son... NEXT!

If she leaves, then she IS NOT WORTHY of your son! I hope he ghosts her, blocks her on ALL media and moves on with his life finding someone worthy.

 

[44YOGearHead]

Sad that she wants to "live it up". I can sum it up in one word "SELFISH".

So she'll want to party and have experiences as a party girl. She'll branch swing to various guys, then when she reaches a certain point in her post college years (some call it "hitting the Wall"). She'll find some nice guy provider to raise her babies. Most likely she try to come crawling back to your son... NEXT!

If she leaves, then she IS NOT WORTHY of your son! I hope he ghosts her, blocks her on ALL media and moves on with his life finding someone worthy.

Hey man fuckit... like I said if she goes, she goes... but if she goes she'll have to figure it all out on her own because I wont have a vested interest in helping shit.

 

[JackSteel]

Dumb chick....free college and a bf or drunk sorority hoe..smh ..honestly it's the best decision for him cause if she ain't got better sense that that she wouldn't stick around much longer no way..blessings in disguise

My thoughts exactly. Reminds me of too many dumb bitches I know. She can't honestly say he's a priority if this is her choice. Good riddance.


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[janzo]

I feel for you my man. The things that we do are always to help our children or their girlfriend. We have experience on our side and sometime OUR mistakes from when we were young.
My lady and I tried to help my sons gf but she knew better. She came back crying depressed "please what am I going to do" unfortunately she was out of my good graces.
I am with you my man we always do the best to keep our kids healthy happy and safe.
Good luck

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[44YOGearHead]

I thought long and hard about this and it kinda pisses me off even though it's just talk at the moment and you never know what might happen with this. I initially felt betrayed because if your mom's plan was to send you off to the Air Force to be subjected to all that bullshit (predatory males and shit like that) even though you told her you didn't want to join and I provided another option then why not show some appreciation by riding it out at least till your junior year?
Here's the facts as I see them, she parties because my son watches over her, she drinks whereas he might sip on something and not get buzzed. She's a bit naive and my son spends quite a bit of time guiding her on things and basically protects her silly ass. She's a sweet girl, but a girl nonetheless. I could see her somewhere else going out with friends and turning a bit wild and getting subjected to things party girls get subjected to because she doesn't quite know the world can be a bad place with bad people. I mean people have to learn for themselves sometimes and hopefully if you're a woman the lesson doesn't involve being assaulted in some manner because in today's society manners and ethics are in need of an overhaul. Dates can become assaults in an instant, I've known guys who have taken women way out, like 30 miles out to the middle of nowhere and say shit like 'give it up, or walk home'... fucking ended our association right after he told me this. I mean who thinks like that????
I've come to think of her as my daughter-in-law and we call one another as such, so I'm wondering if I should address my concerns, or just see what she does and hope it works out one way or another. My son s the kind of guy, much like myself in my youth, that tolerates zero mess. If she were to tell him something like 'We went to the movies as friends only and he tried to do this, or did this...' my son would drive there and fuck someone up I know it. He'd address the fact she went out with a guy afterwards I suspect versus ripping her ass wide open for going in the first place. I guess I'll wait and see, she told me being with and marrying my son is priority and I wonder how much so. Young love can be something wonderful and yet toxic at the same time and my son is the kind of guy to give you enough rope to hang yourself with by saying something like 'if it's meant to be it will work out' and leave you room to fuck up then dump you in the coldest manner possible, just like I instructed him to if the need arises. We shall see, school lets out in June and they need 30 credit hours to TRY to be accepted for transfer. She doesn't quite understand that you have to be accepted and are competing against other transfers and new students.