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What I;ve learned from porn

the force

Member
WHAT I'VE LEARNED FROM PORN...
1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are always rock hard and ready to go.
3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.
10. All women are noisy fucks.
11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
12. Those tits are real.
13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other (and the girl isn't disgusted!)
16. Double penetration makes women smile.
17. Asian men don't exist.
18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't have even the slightest problem with you jamming your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
19. There's a plot.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
21. Nurses suck patient's cocks.
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
24. Women never have headaches... or periods.
25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
26. Assholes are clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trouser and find a cock there.
29. Men don't have to beg.
30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
31. Every guy has a penis as big as John Holmes.
32. All women are completely bald.
33. Women really don't mind being picked up off the street and then fucked in a moving van.
34. Any girl with pigtails is a teen.
35. Any other girl is a MILF.
 
sorry tis not BB but man got some funny ones over here, if there is a more anyhting goes type of section to post this kinda stuff in just let me know,, im not trying to cause any trouble :/
 
i like the old classic porn, when women had the look of needing a lawnmower!
 
You guys forgot some...
36. Men take at least 30 minutes to reach orgasm.
37. A woman will always cum multiple times before a man does.
38. The first time for any female virgin is never painful, regardless of the place that is being penetrated.
39. Condoms and STDs don't exist.
 
sorry tis not BB but man got some funny ones over here, if there is a more anyhting goes type of section to post this kinda stuff in just let me know,, im not trying to cause any trouble :/

Dude a lot of stuff Ur posting is funny as Hell..however it's kind of cluttering the forum a lil bit..U should post a thread and put all this hilarious stuff in that one thread! Then we'll know where to look for a good laugh
 
Apparently it is perfectly acceptable for a mom to teach her daughter how to suck a mean dick, by demonstrating on said daughter's boyfriend. Eye contact and all.
 
<taking notes,, adding to list...

You guys forgot some...
36. Men take at least 30 minutes to reach orgasm.
37. A woman will always cum multiple times before a man does.
38. The first time for any female virgin is never painful, regardless of the place that is being penetrated.
39. Condoms and STDs don't exist.
 
You guys forgot the most important one:

"Porn gives an unrealistic expectation on how fast a plumber will take to arrive at your house"
 
WHAT I'VE LEARNED FROM PORN...

6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
10. All women are noisy fucks.
14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other (and the girl isn't disgusted!)
16. Double penetration makes women smile.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
26. Assholes are clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trouser and find a cock there.
29. Men don't have to beg.
30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
33. Women really don't mind being picked up off the street and then fucked in a moving van.
.

6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men. Its proven...most admit it. And if it wasnt for that, Id never get laid. lol
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob. Because men like. Hence the term "Hummer".
8. Women always orgasm when men do. Mine does. I know shes lying ....but GAWD i love it!!
10. All women are noisy fucks. If shes not...youre doing it wrong.
16. Double penetration makes women smile. Maybe my girl is just freaky then. :)
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you. This has happen...some really are ok with it.
25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it". Ive been told by many that they like that
33. Women really don't mind being picked up off the street and then fucked in a moving van (Depends on how much youre willing to Pay, lol
 
During a threesome with 2 girls, the girl currently unoccupied with a penis is free to call the other a dirty slut repeatedly, mostly out of jealousy.
 
HEY HEY HEY..woahwoah.. slow down.. i think we talking about those scenes now in the gym (or my secret fantasy,, no wait I saw a peter north vid.. nvm) when the dude is lying on the bench and the chicks tie his hands off and take turns,,, yeah fitness "sluts" so 80's so hot.. who said this was not on topic?

During a threesome with 2 girls, the girl currently unoccupied with a penis is free to call the other a dirty slut repeatedly, mostly out of jealousy.
 
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