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So imagine 5 young Devil Dogs on weekend libbo from the School of Infantry in Mexico violating our mileage pass. Drunk as a mother fucker and going bar to bar to bar looking for something to get into literally. We had frequented enough bars to be brain dead drinking Coronas, Tequila shots and shooters for the lowest prices imaginable. $30 could get you retarded drunk and guarantee any offspring made during procreation would be disabled and dysfunctional at a bare minimum.
Enter Chango's Bar. The lights were dim, the place was fairly empty except for the hookers working there and we were at least 12 drinks past stupid. My best friend Joey (we grew up together and joined the Corps under the buddy program) and the other guys squeezed up in a both with the smorgasbord of Mexican hookers while I sat on the end in a chair with one in my lap. I took pride in my drinking, never got too drunk to stick my pocket rocket in anything too bad without wrapping it up, being able to make a hasty exit and deny it ever happened. So the hooker in my lap thought I was shit faced and put my hand on her breasts... let me say this real tits feel like real tits, $2 boob jobs feel like kevlar helmets underneath flesh and when my hand cupped this big ass fake titty I sobered the hell up. That thing was the worst set of fake tits ever made and I was quickly calculating my exit, but Joey (God rest his soul- committed suicide after Desert Storm) interjected. Apparently he wandered his hand up his hookers mini skirt and found out somebody was tucking the sausage stick. The look on his face was priceless...
Shirt from Polo Store $70
Pair of sneaks $210
Finding out the chick in your lap has a penis? PRICELESS
So Joey asked me to veryify, I refused and said for him to double check. He hiked the skirt up and behold... penis. Lol, he shoved the tranny off his lap so fast screaming 'She's got a dick!' that we all went into immediate toss them off mode. Talk about some angry tranny hookers. 5 of us versus 8 of them duking it out to the exit/entrance of the club. We beat their asses... except one of us. We took a headcount and were short one guy. Enter Chango's again for round two. Those 8 tricks were beating his ass and we had to grab him and fight our way back out again. Sure we laughed and mostly at Joey and his handful of man meat. End of story. The moral of this is "Glad I didn't feel up some dude, but in retrospect, better you than me bro".
Enter Chango's Bar. The lights were dim, the place was fairly empty except for the hookers working there and we were at least 12 drinks past stupid. My best friend Joey (we grew up together and joined the Corps under the buddy program) and the other guys squeezed up in a both with the smorgasbord of Mexican hookers while I sat on the end in a chair with one in my lap. I took pride in my drinking, never got too drunk to stick my pocket rocket in anything too bad without wrapping it up, being able to make a hasty exit and deny it ever happened. So the hooker in my lap thought I was shit faced and put my hand on her breasts... let me say this real tits feel like real tits, $2 boob jobs feel like kevlar helmets underneath flesh and when my hand cupped this big ass fake titty I sobered the hell up. That thing was the worst set of fake tits ever made and I was quickly calculating my exit, but Joey (God rest his soul- committed suicide after Desert Storm) interjected. Apparently he wandered his hand up his hookers mini skirt and found out somebody was tucking the sausage stick. The look on his face was priceless...
Shirt from Polo Store $70
Pair of sneaks $210
Finding out the chick in your lap has a penis? PRICELESS
So Joey asked me to veryify, I refused and said for him to double check. He hiked the skirt up and behold... penis. Lol, he shoved the tranny off his lap so fast screaming 'She's got a dick!' that we all went into immediate toss them off mode. Talk about some angry tranny hookers. 5 of us versus 8 of them duking it out to the exit/entrance of the club. We beat their asses... except one of us. We took a headcount and were short one guy. Enter Chango's again for round two. Those 8 tricks were beating his ass and we had to grab him and fight our way back out again. Sure we laughed and mostly at Joey and his handful of man meat. End of story. The moral of this is "Glad I didn't feel up some dude, but in retrospect, better you than me bro".
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