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In no particular order... I know I said top Ten, but these fits come to me as they do...randomly so here we go. Don't judge me either.
1. "You ever wonder why out of all your sisters and female cousins you're the only one that's married?"
2. "Your sisters missed any chance they had at getting married by 30 years."
3. "Look at your family... you're lucky you escaped. I saved you."
4. "Your dad didn't do fatherhood any justice. Fucker shoulda read a book or something."
5. When wife says I called her family fat: "But they are fuckin fat as hell."
6. "I know the shocks in your sisters' car are shot to hell."
7. "Do they just wake up and know when you get paid?"
8. When we visit her mother: Why don't you sit down? "I would, but your sister is on the couch."
9. When we visit and go buy the house fast food because everyone is complaining about being hungry and they bum rush the food: "All I know is there better be food for my wife to eat seeing how we paid for all this shit."... then people who already devoured their 1st plate look sad walking away from the food and go sit down.
10. When the wife bets me that nobody will ask me for money when we visit: "Too late your bum ass brother already did." We were there less than 5 minutes. Sad thing is he had asked her before he asked me lol.
Bonus: "Let's send our son to spend the Summer with your family." that one gets her goat because she knows he wouldn't wanna go because he'd be mistreated and hungry.
Disclaimer: Be advised that 44 has a special set of in-laws, this in no way, shape, or form depicts the typical family in America. 44 is one tough son of a bitch not to have run away to Panama and found himself 3 hot and young mamacita's to exploit the shit out of and let walk around his condo butt naked while pinning gear and popping viagra like pez. 44 likes all aspects of his life with exception to his in-laws. Life is not perfect and 44 considers this payback for being a sarcastic asshole in his younger years. 44 is 44, you are not...consider whatever trailer park trash, ghetto hood rat, back room sweatshop relatives you might have a blessing in comparison to my own. 44 is miserable and seeking membership to some hate group that targets only in-laws regardless of race, creed, or religion.
1. "You ever wonder why out of all your sisters and female cousins you're the only one that's married?"
2. "Your sisters missed any chance they had at getting married by 30 years."
3. "Look at your family... you're lucky you escaped. I saved you."
4. "Your dad didn't do fatherhood any justice. Fucker shoulda read a book or something."
5. When wife says I called her family fat: "But they are fuckin fat as hell."
6. "I know the shocks in your sisters' car are shot to hell."
7. "Do they just wake up and know when you get paid?"
8. When we visit her mother: Why don't you sit down? "I would, but your sister is on the couch."
9. When we visit and go buy the house fast food because everyone is complaining about being hungry and they bum rush the food: "All I know is there better be food for my wife to eat seeing how we paid for all this shit."... then people who already devoured their 1st plate look sad walking away from the food and go sit down.
10. When the wife bets me that nobody will ask me for money when we visit: "Too late your bum ass brother already did." We were there less than 5 minutes. Sad thing is he had asked her before he asked me lol.
Bonus: "Let's send our son to spend the Summer with your family." that one gets her goat because she knows he wouldn't wanna go because he'd be mistreated and hungry.
Disclaimer: Be advised that 44 has a special set of in-laws, this in no way, shape, or form depicts the typical family in America. 44 is one tough son of a bitch not to have run away to Panama and found himself 3 hot and young mamacita's to exploit the shit out of and let walk around his condo butt naked while pinning gear and popping viagra like pez. 44 likes all aspects of his life with exception to his in-laws. Life is not perfect and 44 considers this payback for being a sarcastic asshole in his younger years. 44 is 44, you are not...consider whatever trailer park trash, ghetto hood rat, back room sweatshop relatives you might have a blessing in comparison to my own. 44 is miserable and seeking membership to some hate group that targets only in-laws regardless of race, creed, or religion.
